Suddenly Anything is Possible

Cook Ross 2011 Year-end Thank You and Highlights Letter

Dear Friends & Clients,

As we come to the end of 2011, the words that come to mind are “thank you.”  This has been an amazing year. We turned 22. In a tough economy, our revenues grew by 25% and our staff grew by 50%. We flexed our creative muscles and led transformative trainings, launched powerful new products, worked with extraordinary clients, and gained many new partners.

The commitment of our clients to transform their organizational cultures in order to improve diversity, inclusion, cultural competency, employee engagement, and productivity is the driving force behind our work. We are very aware of how fortunate we are to continue to be able to do the work we care so deeply about with people all around the world.  As 2011 comes to a close, we thank you for your ongoing partnership.

Stay tuned in 2012 for the launch of our cutting-edge Unconscious Bias online course and the announcement for our first Unconscious Bias Learning Lab, April 11-13, which will be an opportunity for participants to take a deep dive into a fascinating and critically important subject.

For those of you who are interested, here is a sample of the things we’ve been up to:

Client Engagements

As you know, we greatly value our enduring partnerships with our diverse and impressive clients.

• We gave Diversity, Inclusion, and Cultural Competency presentations at Delhaize America/Food Lion, VivaKi, New York Times, U.S. Department of Treasury, Accenture, Freddie Mac, Kaiser Permanente, Fannie Mae, The Home Depot, Association of Newspaper Editors, National Science Foundation, Veterans Administration, U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, National Security Agency, Baystate Health, Booz Allen, Prudential Financial, Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, FEMA … among the 97 client organizations we worked with this year.
  
• We facilitated multiple sessions on the Impact of Unconscious Bias on Hiring Practices for the staff of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, which were both live and broadcast across the nation.

• We are very proud of our 21st Century Leadership Academy, which is a cohort leadership development program we conducted with four organizations this year: INOVA (in its seventh year), Wellstar (going on its second year), AARP (just beginning), and the Executive Leadership Institute hosted by Leadership Greater Washington.

•  In addition to our annual Diversity and Inclusion presentations for the Applied Physics Lab, we had the pleasure of working on several other projects at The Johns Hopkins University. We facilitated retreats for the University’s Office of Government and Community Affairs and the Urban Health Institute, and Howard Ross gave a presentation on Diversity and Inclusion for JHU’s incoming freshman class and one for a campus wide Diversity and Inclusion Symposium.

• We facilitated presentations on Diversity, Religion, and Spirituality for the staff of Blue Cross Blue Shield Association.

• We conducted organizational cultural assessments for AARP, Liberty Bank, and other clients.

• We developed a pilot program for Diversity and Inclusion training for BNY Mellon Corporation.

• At SiriusXM, we facilitated a Diversity and Inclusion training for the staff, and conducted focus groups to develop a more comprehensive organizational transformation program for the radio company.

• We designed a program on Civility & Bullying in collaboration with The George Washington University.

• Our global work includes: ARLA in Denmark, Riksteatern in Sweden, an Executive Female Leadership Program at Novartis in Switzerland, and a presentation at the World Diversity Leadership Summit in Austria.   

• We also delivered keynote speeches at clients such as Actelion, Memorial Hermann, Physician Assistants Education Association, and U.S. Securities Exchange Commission. In addition, we headlined presentations at the World Diversity Leadership Summit in New York, the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), Linkage, the Multicultural Forum, and the Diversity Woman conference.

Highlights of Growth

• We are very proud of the creation of our Advisory Board, which includes a number of highly esteemed professionals from a variety of areas of expertise.
  
  
• Leslie Traub changed positions from President to Chair of the Board & Chief Consulting Officer, and our former Executive Vice President of Business Development, Michael Leslie Amilcar (a new mommy in 2011!) is now managing the organization as our Chief Management Officer.  

• Armers Moncure joined us as Vice President and Senior Consultant. He brings to Cook Ross and our clients a passion for the intersection of employee engagement and diversity, and over 15 years of experience in training, business development, and organizational transformation.

• Bobby Joe Smith joined us Business Development Associate. He was a 2011 New Leaders Fellow at the Center for Progressive Leadership. He completed a Public Policy and International Affairs & Law fellowship at the University of California at Berkeley and an undergraduate degree from Middlebury College. He is proficient in Lakota, the language of the Lakota Sioux tribe.

• Minjon Tholen joined us as our Training & Development Specialist. She has a Master’s Degree in Gender & Women’s Studies from the University of Wisconsin at Madison and an undergraduate degree in communications from University of Utrecht in the Netherlands. She is currently a Pipeline fellow at the Roosevelt Institute, a new platform for young professionals to advance their big ideas for progressive change. She was born in Sri Lanka and is fluent in Dutch.

• Anne Ferrier joined us as a Coaching Consultant. She is formerly the Cultural and Linguistic Competency Coordinator at Sarasota Partnership for Children’s Mental Health. She is a licensed clinical psychologist and a certified personal and executive coach. A native of Suriname, she has lived in numerous countries and is fluent in four languages.

• Nicole Martin joined us as Office Coordinator and “Chief Fun Officer.” She is formerly a travel agent and a master of paying attention to details. She lives on a farm and is a professional choreographer.
• Robby Gregg, our former Vice President of Strategic Partnerships and Alliances, has assumed a new position as Associate Director of Equality & Diversity Partnerships at Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), and also continues to help coordinate our external partnerships and relationships.
• We also had the pleasure of welcoming interns from Maryland, Florida, The Netherlands, Rwanda and Kenya.

Transformative Products

In addition to our best-selling tools such as the Cultural Communication Guide, the Diversity Toolkit, and CultureVision, we developed some new and exciting products:

• This year was especially exciting for us with the publication of the book Reinventing Diversity: Transforming Organizational Community to Strengthen People, Purpose, and Performance, written by our Founder and Chief Learning Officer, Howard Ross. In his book, Howard presents interviews, personal stories, statistics, and case studies to explain why most diversity programs fail – and how we can make them work by transforming organizational cultures. As he argues, only through challenging our own preconceived notions about diversity can we build a productive and collaborative work environment in which all people thrive.
• We published the Disability Etiquette Guide, which conveys critical information to increase employees’ confidence that they are being courteous, but not condescending when interacting with people with disabilities. The Guide supports readers in identifying key barriers that, when unknown, may compromise inclusion, trust, and cooperation, and in questioning assumptions and judgments about all people—not just people with disabilities.
• We also created the Unconscious Bias Workbook, a transformational tool that engages readers from across the entire workforce spectrum in a process of education, exploration, self-analysis, and action planning. It is designed to help reveal personal and organizational values and norms, where those values come from, and how they impact the quality and effectiveness of our business and talent management decisions.
• We are also happy to announce that Cook Ross’ publications and consulting, organizational assessment, training, and facilitation services are now listed on the GSA schedule.

And, of course we jumped boldly into the social media sphere and encourage you to follow us and dialogue with us on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

We thank you again for your continued partnership and shared commitment to diversity efforts in your organization, and wish you joyful and relaxing holidays, and all the best in 2012 and beyond!

Best regards from the entire Cook Ross Team...

Howard Ross, Leslie Traub, Michael Leslie Amilcar, Laura Malinowski, Armers Moncure, Anne Ferrier, Howie Schaffer, Caitlin Saunders, Minjon Tholen, Bobby Joe Smith, and Nicole Martin

 

Governor Perry Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Howard J. Ross, founder & chief learning officer

The recent controversy about the hate-filled word painted on the rock at Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry’s hunting property reminds us of how much our past dictates the way we see the present.  There are few words in the English language that have the ability to remind us of how much our memories of things that have happened can live in our language as “the n-word.”  It is so viscerally reminiscent of the history of African American oppression in this country that it is hardly ever spoken or whispered.

How quickly Governor Perry actually handled his personal connection to the offensive word on the rock is a reasonable question. It indicates how seriously he took the offense of it, as is how he is handling the current situation around it.  But the incident is an aide-mémoire that our language is filled with reminders of the past.  Even benign terms and phrases convey hidden or lost meanings. For example, we call storage locations in our cars the “glove compartment” and the “trunk.” They were created when cars had no heat and drivers always had to have a place to store their gloves, and because early automobiles actually had trunks attached to the back for storage.  But, far more importantly, we know that our language is loaded with references that have a history to them, some which reinforce past inequities.

The “n-word” is an obvious example, and perhaps the vilest. But it is by no means the only one.  What is a “rule of thumb,” for example?  It apparently derives from old English commonwealth law, which stated that a man could beat his wife as long as the stick was no thicker than his thumb.  Why are our leaders usually called “chairmen”, “congressmen”, etc.?  Pretty obvious isn’t it?  There are all those references to the “black” sheep of the family. Or the classic western villain wearing a “black” hat. What about “Indian giving”? (Which is particularly ironic given that the Native American population of this country had deals and treaties rescinded from them far more often than the opposite!). Ever hear of “jewing down” the price of something? (An obvious reference to the stereotype of stinginess that is associated with Jews. In fact, some people are so obtuse of the source of that it has been said in front of me a number of times in my life).  Getting “gypped” on a deal derives from a negative stereotype about the Roma or Gypsy people). Of course there are ubiquitous references to people (including children) as “illegal aliens”.  Finally, there is the name of the Washington DC football team. If we weren't so used to the name "redskins" and even attached to it, we would easily see the absurdity and offensiveness of using a race of people as a mascot."  And I resist going on and on only because the point is made.

That we are our personal history is undeniable and no secret to any of us.  Malcolm X said, “People are always speculating: why am I as I am? To understand...any person, his or her whole life, from birth, must be reviewed. All our experiences fuse into our personalities. Everything that ever happened to us is an ingredient.”  But we are also our collective histories.  We live in a world that has been shaped and influenced by our collective past.  And our language is the main carrier of that history.

The human mind perceives the world mostly through language.  It provides one of the most predominant filters through which our background interpretations of events are formed.  A simple word can give an entire worldview.  Consider, for example, did we “invade” Iraq, or did we “liberate” Iraq.  By the choice of those words aren’t we likely to at least imply a person’s political point of view about the conflict?  Our very consciousness is structured by the words we use, the names we give things, and the questions we ask.

Words can also marginalize.  The collective pain of centuries of sexism lives in the titles we give our corporate leaders.  The collective stain of slavery lives in the fact that African American unemployment is almost twice the national average, and that the color black usually implies "less than" or more evil.  The collective shame of homophobia lives in the many ways our language tells us that heterosexuality is “normal.”

These words infiltrate our “normal” discourse, and so do the values that the words connote.  And the most challenging aspect of it is that it mostly doesn’t live in our conscious awareness.  It is buried deep. These words help form the foundation of some of our most basic beliefs without our even realizing it.

I am not a big fan of political correctness.  Though it may be well intended, my experience has been that it suffocates our ability to have real conversations. It drives people underground rather than allowing us to know whom we are dealing with.  But I am not talking about political correctness.  I am talking about listening and learning.  I am talking about being conscious of the language that we use and the memories that it carries. 

The language that people choose can help us know when leaders are “uniters” or “dividers.”  And so, as our news cycle tends to go, we will be hearing incessantly for a few days the various opinions as to whether or not the rock in Governor Perry’s “garden” was dealt with appropriately or fast enough.  And we have every right to determine what Governor Perry’s response tells us about his capacity for empathy and compassion as a leader. 

But let us not forget the deeper message:  our language carries our heritage. And it is not easily “painted over.”

 

Howard Ross is the recent author of ReInventing Diversity: Transforming Organizational Community to Strengthen People, Purpose & Performance, published by Rowman Littlefield in association with the Society for Human Resource Management.

Got Unconscious Bias? (Hint: YES YOU DO!)

Six Steps for Dealing with Unconscious Bias

By Howard J. Ross

Raise your hand if you are biased. If you were slow to raise your hand, you are not alone. Many of us are reluctant to admit we harbor some bias. We have been taught that to be biased means that we are bad. Or worse, that we are bigots and discriminators. But bias is a normal part of human behavior. It helps us survive by helping us make snap decisions that can save us from danger or protect our families and livelihoods. But it can also interfere with our desire to appreciate others and be fair to all. We all strive to be aware of the judgments we make about others. But it takes practice to question your gut instincts.  Bias resides inside all of us, whether we like it or not.

New science and knowledge of organizational behavior reveals that most of the bias we may feel or exhibit exists in our unconscious. Much of that bias is cultural and is learned from our families of origin. We assume our own beliefs and norms are well…normal.  We assume others share our perspective. Imagine inviting someone into your home. What if you told them “Make yourself at home” and they went to the refrigerator and drank orange juice right from the carton?  Clearly, we all have different worldviews and unique ways of navigating our environments!

Organizations that truly wish to create diverse employee populations and more inclusive workplaces have struggled for decades with overcoming bias. Clearly, individuals and groups should pay attention to how race, gender, sexual orientation, disability and multiple identities should be managed so that all employees can be successful, contributing members of their organizations. More times than not, people make choices that discriminate against one group and in favor of another, without even realizing that they are doing it. All of us need practice to reveal our thinking and understand not only what we think, but how we think. Here are six “conscious” steps to help you deal with unconscious bias:

1) Tell the Truth to Yourself & Notice What Influences Your Decisions: Remember that all humans have unconscious preferences and biases, which is completely normal, and that those preferences and biases impact most, if not all, of the decisions we make, including those regarding people. Be willing to honestly admit your biases.

Also, keep in mind that unconscious preference and biases can influence decision-making in both negative as well as positive ways.

2) Gather Data About Yourself: The Implicit Association Test (IAT) can help you identify your unconscious preferences. Taking one or more of the IATs is a free, voluntary activity that you can do at home on your own computer. Keep track of your decisions and review them to see if there are any patterns that may not have been apparent to you (e.g., similarities in the persons you socialize with, people your hire or select to be on your team.) Patterns don’t automatically indicate bias. But if you see a pattern, it would be wise to examine it further.

3) Stretch Your Comfort Zone: If you discover that you view a particular group with discomfort, make a conscious effort to learn more about that group. Expose yourself to positive images and other information related to that group. Don’t be afraid to question yourself. If others question your decisions, instead of reacting defensively, try to listen to the feedback. Be open to change.

4) Stimulate Your Curiosity about Others: When you interact with a person who is part of a group with which you have had little interaction, be aware that you may be especially susceptible to stereotyping, which can lead to false or negative assumptions about that person.  Make a conscious effort to learn more about that individual as well as his/her group, recognizing that interaction with one person does not predict or explain his or her group norms.

5) Expand Your Constellation of Input: Get input from people representing other groups or points of view during your decision-making process. One of the best ways to bring concealed beliefs and how they affect behavior into clear view is to request peer feedback regarding potential preference patterns. Most of us are nervous to do this because we are inherently afraid of what we might hear. But are we better off with people thinking it and not telling us?

6) If You Mess It Up, Clean It Up! Don’t be afraid to go to somebody and apologize if you feel like they have been treated unfairly, excluded because of who they are, or not recognized for what they contribute. Make the situation right and then evaluate the system that led to the decision and explore ways you can improve the process for the future.

Bias occurs because our fundamental way of encountering the world is driven by a hard-wired pattern of making unconscious decisions about others base on what feels safe, likeable, valuable, and competent. And that includes our reactions to the people we live with and work with every day. The pathway to overcoming bias begins by accepting the normalcy of it.  When we accept that we have normal biases, it becomes much easier to observe how they may be impacting our decisions or reactions.  Accepting personal biases makes them less, not more likely to impact others. 

We are all human and so is bias. Engaging in these six steps is the first big step on a journey toward creating organizations where all people have their best shot at being successful.

Read other articles and learn more about Howard J. Ross.

Another Opportunity for Hypocrisy?

by Howard Ross, Founder & Chief Learning Officer

Last week a divided panel from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11^th Circuit in Atlanta struck down the insurance mandate portion of the 2010 health care law, ruling that Congress overstepped its authority when it required all Americans to have health insurance.

To be clear, this ruling does not end the legal debate on the legislation, which will undoubtedly eventually be decided by the Supreme Court, but it is a frightening harbinger of what is likely to come. As much as I searched the newspapers and internet over the past few days, I was unable to find any hue and cry against this “radical judicial activism” from those who were so vociferous in that characterization when the courts ruled against voters or legislators decisions on marriage equality, affirmative action, or other such issues.

In all transparency I supported the healthcare bill.  Actually, that is not truly accurate because I had hoped it would have gone further.  But at least it was a start.  An acceptance of the general notion that quality healthcare should be a right for all citizens. 

Now I know that many people criticize and condemn that idea.  They see it as a move towards “socialized medicine.”  But I have a hard time understanding why it is fine for us to have state-sponsored education, state-sponsored traffic laws, state-sponsored postal service, and a state-sponsored military, but it is somehow repugnant or “socialist” to have some governmental process that ensures health access in a society that prides itself on the notion that the American people are endowed with “…certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  It is hard in my mind to understand how life and happiness (and arguably liberty as well) are not related to health.  Life is obvious. But I know that I am never less happy than when one of my loved ones or I is sick or injured.  I would find it appalling if some Americans in general, regardless of race, economic status, gender, etc., had less access to quality healthcare and poorer health outcomes.  But how often that happens is not random in our society, it is directly related to race and socio-economic status.  Consider these Department of Health and Human Services statistics:

• African American men are over twice more likely to die from prostate cancer than White. While breast cancer is diagnosed 10% less frequently in African American women than White women, African American women are 36% more likely to die from the disease.
• African Americans are twice as likely to have diabetes as Whites. Hispanics are 1.5 times as likely to have diabetes as Whites. American Indians and Alaska Natives are twice as likely as non-Hispanic Whites of similar age to have diabetes.
• African American men are 30% more likely to die from heart disease than non-Hispanic white males, despite the fact that 6% of African Americans have heart disease.
• 32% of African Americans have hypertension compared to 23% of Whites.
• Non-Hispanic Blacks are 60% more likely to die from viral hepatitis, as compared to non-Hispanic Whites. American Indian/Alaska Natives were almost twice as likely to develop a case of Hepatitis C, as compared to the White population.  Hispanics are twice more likely to be diagnosed with Hepatitis A than non-Hispanic Whites.
• African Americans accounted for 52% of all HIV/AIDS cases diagnosed.
• African American mothers were 2.3 times as likely as non-Hispanic white mothers to begin prenatal care in the 3rd trimester. Or not receive prenatal care at all.
• American Indian/Alaska Natives have 1.6 times the infant mortality rate of non-Hispanic Whites.
• Puerto Rican infants were twice as likely to die from causes related to low birth weight, compared to non-Hispanic white infants.
• The infant mortality rate is 1.7 times greater for Native Hawaiians than for non-Hispanic Whites
• Mexican Americans, who make up the largest share of the U.S. Hispanic population, suffer in greater percentages than Whites from overweight and obesity, two of the leading risk factors for heart disease. Premature death was higher for Hispanics (23.5%) than non-Hispanics (16.5%).
• Oral health disparities are so dramatic in this country that Native American people have dental diseases 3-5 times as often as Whites.

I could go on with similar statistics that link income levels, sexual orientation, and gender to health performance. Data that link poor healthcare to education and job attainment, especially for poor children, is readily available. But the real issue is why so many of us feel comfortable ignoring the obviousness of this data.

“Liberty and justice for all?”  

“Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?”   

The “best healthcare system in the world?”

 According to the World Health Organization, the United States is:

• 31^st in the world in life expectancy (tied with Kuwait)

• 37^th in the world in infant mortality (an American child is 2 ½ times more likely to die before the age of five than a Singaporean child)
• 34^th in the world in maternal mortality (an American mother is 11 times more likely to die in childbirth than an Irish mother)

Who are we kidding?

I have heard the argument that the United States Constitution does not provide for healthcare for all.  But, of course Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3 of the United States Constitution also did not provide for African Americans to be counted as full human beings, and, of course, there was that sticky issue of a woman’s right to vote…

I have heard the argument that this service is best provided by the states, which was, of course, the same argument that Mississippi and Alabama used to resist the Civil Rights movement.

I have heard the argument that people should be able to decide for themselves whether they need health insurance. But there have been numerous times when we have decided as a society (education, child labor, child sexuality, seat belts, etc.) that the well-being of our citizenry requires that we sometimes be protected from our own poor decision-making. Not to mention the fact that we as a society pay for the lack of health insurance of our fellow citizens through the rising tide of healthcare costs.

And I have also heard the argument that private industry is better able to provide these services. I generally believe that there are many healthcare companies that combine a deep commitment to service with an ability to operate a consciously capitalist company. But we also have to admit that there are some who are simply out for profit and need to be carefully regulated.

Unfortunately what is just under the surface of the resistance to our intervening in the tragic inequity in healthcare in our society is a rising tide of Social Darwinism, a notion, originated in the 19^th Century, that some of us are just more “fit” for survival and it is simply the evolutionary forces of nature that sort out the ones who aren’t.  It slips out sometimes, as when Utah Senator Orrin Hatch recently said, “The poor need to share some of the responsibility in reducing America’s debt burden.”  It is a philosophy that was generally discredited after it contributed to the development of eugenics, scientific racism, imperialism, and fascism.

One of the overarching themes in my just-release new book, ReInventing Diversity: Transforming Organizational Community to Strengthen People, Purpose & Performance, is that we all need to work to overcome the deeply ingrained and polarizing dynamic of “us versus them.”

Personally I don't believe that poor people, black and Hispanic people, women, and gay people are getting poorer health results because they are “less fit to survive.” I believe we, as a society, have not joined virtually the entire developed world in understanding that it is the responsibility of the strong to assist the weak. And the rich to assist the poor. How? By providing the simplest, if not the easiest, of safety nets: universally available and affordable health insurance.

The notion that just because you are poor, black, Hispanic, gay, or a woman, doesn't mean that you should be doomed to be sick and die more than those who are rich, white, straight men.  And, if you don’t believe that we have a responsibility to help our neighbors than consider your own family’s self-interest:  when your neighbor’s children are sick because they can’t afford quality healthcare, they still play on the same playground as your children and grandchildren.

This fight is not over.  Please contact your elected representative today and tell them that we need to stand strong for a quality healthcare for all people in this country.  And if the Supreme Court overturns this bill, we intend to fight for another so that the United States can truly have liberty and justice for all.

The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives?

by Howard J. Ross, Founder & Chief Learning Officer, Cook Ross Inc.

Yesterday, Sunday, July 24, 2011, gay and lesbian couples all over the state of New York were allowed to legally marry for the first time. Thousands of people were granted the same legal and civil rights as those of us who are straight. Straight people have historically never, even for a moment, had to consider if their marriage would be recognized as legal and valid.  New York is now the 7^th state in the nation, in addition to the District of Columbia, that has recognized the right to marriage equality. (http://www.marriageequality.org/current-status)

I was deeply moved as I watched the news reports of people getting married who have been devoted and faithful partners, in some cases for dozens of years. Now they are finally getting assurance that they will be legally guaranteed the right to sit in the hospital with their beloveds as they passed their last breath. Now they can fully share in creating their financial futures. Now they can legally share the lives that they have in actuality been sharing for years. 

As I sat there watching I couldn’t help but ask myself, “How can this possibly be a threat to my own straight marriage?”

I am convinced that some day we will look back at this time like we now look back at the early days of the civil rights movement, when people were fighting for the right to be treated as full citizens of our country and others were fighting to deny those rights, and say “what were we thinking?”

As the news stories and photographs came out yesterday I was completing a training I had been leading all week in Ottawa, Canada.  The Canadians I was with had, almost universally, just one thing to say:  “What took you so long?”

Many strategists are predicting that Maryland is the next big state where marriage equality will become a legal reality. Please support organizations like Equality Maryland, HRC, PFLAG, and any other organization advocating for marriage equality. We all need to work together to get this done!

Support equal rights for all citizens NOW so that one day we can look at this moment in time and say “that was when we came to our senses.”

 

photo credit

 

The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives?

by Howard J. Ross, Founder & Chief Learning Officer, Cook Ross Inc.

 

Yesterday, Sunday, July 24, 2011, gay and lesbian couples all over the state of New York were allowed to legally marry for the first time. Thousands of people were granted the same legal and civil rights as those of us who are straight. Straight people have historically never, even for a moment, had to consider if their marriage would be recognized as legal and valid.  New York is now the 7^th state in the nation, in addition to the District of Columbia, that has recognized the right to marriage equality. (http://www.marriageequality.org/current-status)

I was deeply moved as I watched the news reports of people getting married who have been devoted and faithful partners, in some cases for dozens of years. Now they are finally getting assurance that they will be legally guaranteed the right to sit in the hospital with their beloveds as they passed their last breath. Now they can fully share in creating their financial futures. Now they can legally share the lives that they have in actuality been sharing for years. 

As I sat there watching I couldn’t help but ask myself, “How can this possibly be a threat to my own straight marriage?”

I am convinced that some day we will look back at this time like we now look back at the early days of the civil rights movement, when people were fighting for the right to be treated as full citizens of our country and others were fighting to deny those rights, and say “what were we thinking?”

As the news stories and photographs came out yesterday I was completing a training I had been leading all week in Ottawa, Canada.  The Canadians I was with had, almost universally, just one thing to say:  “What took you so long?”

Many strategists are predicting that Maryland is the next big state where marriage equality will become a legal reality. Please support organizations like Equality Maryland, HRC, PFLAG, and any other organization advocating for marriage equality. We all need to work together to get this done!

Support equal rights for all citizens NOW so that one day we can look at this moment in time and say “that was when we came to our senses.”

 

Graduation Advice from Generation Y

Reflections for the New Graduating Class

by Caitlin Saunders, Project Manager, Cook Ross Inc.

I have heard a mixed bag of reviews of my generation – some say that we’re job-hoppers and demanding employees, others say that we’re technology savvy and innovative. Some say a bit of both. No matter where your opinions fall on the subject, one thing that can be said is that a keen curiosity exists for Generation Y.

As a member of the Millenial generation, I’m willing to own all of the critiques -- both the good and the bad, because like those terrible social rumors you heard in high school, the critiques tend to based in truth. With that said, Generation Y –- like the technology that we grew up with –- is constantly transforming, growing and learning. 

When I graduated from college, I felt like I knew myself and the world around me through and through (from what I’ve heard this is not a generational –based characteristic), but it turns out, I didn’t. It turns out the only thing that I know now with certainty is that I have a lot to learn. With this in mind, I wrote the lessons below to my younger sister, who is graduating in the Class of 2011 (so proud!), hoping to give her some guidance through her own exciting, exploratory, and trying transition from college to the real world.

The lessons below are those that I have learned since graduating from college. By no means am I speaking on behalf of my generation – in fact, I found that even within my closest circle of friends the journey over the past few years has been very different for each of us.  But what this list means for me, and hopefully for those both younger and older, is that we are all constantly learning and how critical it is to allow ourselves and each other the space to do so (without critique).  

1.  You can be whoever you want to be from here on out. Do what you want to do. No one can tell you differently.

• This can be felt on so many levels.  It first hit me the day my first paycheck was deposited into my account – I remember thinking, heart racing just a bit, I can do anything I want.  (Please note that may happen for you too, but brace yourself for the later realization of rent, utilities and potential loans that need to be paid).

2.  Surround yourself with good people – and let go of the ones who bring you down. It’s just not worth it.   

• You will be balancing a job, a new life, family, and other commitments and you quickly find that your personal time is limited. As such you will have to make an active choice as to who you spend your time with. Invest in those who bring you joy and let go of those who don’t, It is sad to see that a few friendships may fall off because of this, but those that do were probably not worth your time.
• Don’t forget that even the best relationships take work. I have to make a concerted effort at times to see even my closest friends, but I can’t imagine being in this life without them.

3.  Time to revamp those Facebook pics – take down the ones that don’t represent you in your best light aka. the ones you wouldn’t want your boss to see

• I know it was fun to roll through the Facebook pictures every week with friends in college, but it won’t be just your friends looking at them in the real world. Now that I’ve heard how those pictures can be discussed in the workplace and how they can be used against you – trust me, it’s just best to delete them.

4. Gone are the days where you can pull an all-nighter and power through the day.  Get some rest--otherwise, your body, and your work, may suffer.

• It only takes a few late nights to pick up on this one. In school you could have a night out with friends, sit in a two hour morning class, and then have a few hours to catch up on some much needed sleep. Now, you have an entire day of work ahead of you and it doesn’t let up because you’re tired. (For those of you who are unaffected by the lack of sleep, you are a lucky few).

5. Taking care of yourself can be exhausting, but also extremely rewarding.  

• I was at home for a recent family holiday sitting down to a delicious (and free!) homemade meal and I couldn’t help but think Isn’t this nice? This would be so easy… but then I think of the fact that I’m in control of my own life, that I have no one else to report to, and the trips that I’ve taken and the memories I’ve made because I can – and I know it’s all worth it.

6. Voicing your opinion is important. Be selective in choosing when to do so.

• My manager recently told me that saying yes to most things makes the times you say no that much more powerful. I think this statement is applicable to voicing your opinion as a young professional in the workplace. Exercising your voice is a critical exercise, but do so when you have something valuable to add that way you become a respected voice versus a background sound. 

7.  There’s a lot of grunt work and "paying your dues" in an entry-level position. Make the most of it. Surround yourself with people who you can learn from, who allow you to explore different paths, and who challenge/are willing to invest in you.

• After watching my friends and colleagues take on various jobs in a wide spectrum of industries, I have realized that there are not-so- glamorous aspects of every job. (Once you realize that, it’s a bit easier to relax.)
•  With that said, what separates a good first job from one that is less desired is the opportunity for development. If you are fortunate enough to be exposed to various sectors of the business, work on projects that stretch your skill set, and/or allowed the opportunity to explore your interests you’ve got a good thing going. My thought –- take advantage of the resources around you and learn as much as you can.

 8.  Not all of your co-workers are going to be like your group of friends from college. Take the time to figure out how to best communicate with and relate to them.

• It’s bizarre when you realize there is no “right” way to communicate –- there are probably dozens of wrong ways, but no 100% fool-proof right way because everyone brings a different understanding to the table. A conversation may mean more to one person than an email, others may request emails only, and some may need a bit of both, but what’s important is that you find a way to connect with each other as mature, responsible adults. Your workplace is a space to learn as much about process and content as it is to learn about others.

9.  Things in the real world take time. It’s okay if your three-year plan turns into five. Just remember to breathe and have compassion for yourself.

• I’m still working on this one. From what I understand this is a “generational characteristic.” For most of my life I have always equated faster to better –- a faster computer is better, a faster internet connection is better, a faster way to get from Point A to Point B is…better. With that said, I’m learning that this may not be the most realistic mindset for the real world. All I can say for now is: Things take time, you can only do so much, and try to go easy on yourself.

10.   Being happy is the most important thing in life, so find a job that brings joy.

• I have worked with two companies since graduating – I’ve had an incredibly rewarding experience at my current company and perhaps a less than experience at the former. When you are unhappy at a job it will likely affect other pieces of your life, so find a place where you can work AND be happy. A job doesn’t have to be just a job, a way to pay the bills, it can be a place of fulfillment and growth.

 11.   You think you know yourself now? Wait two years. Don’t be surprised if everything changes.

• I understand what it’s like to think you have your whole life planned out, but now I also know what it’s like to revise or adjust that plan.

Believe it or not who you are and what you want out of life may shift. If you’re anything like me (aka you like to have every step planned out) ... that’s a pretty scary thought. But it’s also what keeps things exciting and helps you grow. Try to stay open to the changes and chances that come your way because more often than not things turn out better than you planned (perhaps that is the ultra optimistic Generation Y part of me talking?) Continue to learn, keep an open mind, and enjoy!

 

No Need for Hate

Sometimes being a proud parent and an advocate for diversity come together. My 17-year-old son Jake composed this poem the other day that I thought I would share with you. Thank you for reading, Howard Ross

Hate
by Jake Ross

Hate.

Children forced to vacate their schools,
Punished again and again for following the rules,
Trying to fit in to a society that doesn’t want them,
That calls them different for being who they were born to be,
Gay, lesbian, transgender, straight, we are all people, there's no need for hate.

People are hated for who they are,
Told they are different, told they have flaws,
But the truth is,
Nobody deserves to be hated,
Harmed for things beyond their control,
Feelings are feelings,
And they belong to the feeler,
Schoolchildren harm each other,
Wounds too deep to heal.

Little boys interested in others,
While people just like them are murdered every day,
And there's poor innocent Matthew Shepard,
Who died for being gay,
Beat to death and left crucified in the desert.

When will the world learn that to discriminate is to kill?
Calling a little boy “fag” is the same as stabbing him with a knife,
Whether it be from an angry, ignorant fool, or by his own hand,
This wound may cost him his life.

Life is a very beautiful thing and deserves to be cherished,
But this cannot happen when innocent children perish.

So stop the hate, stop the death, stop the rage,
Learn to love,
Because the world won't fix itself,
We must fix the hearts that have broken,
Because if we can't love those different from us,
Then how can we really love at all?

Trumping the Race Card

by Howard J. Ross, Chief Learning Officer

People across the globe are gripped by the surprise news of the death of Osama bin Laden. For many, a part of us views his death as a catharsis for our anger which has brewed for more than a decade.  Another part of us embraces the release of a powerful and nagging fear which has insinuated itself into daily lives in a way that many of us have not felt before.

What is the impact of fear on us as individuals and as a society? How does fear impact our decisions, responses, and thoughts? In some cases, we can transform our fear into great works of creativity and tremendous acts of courage. In all too many cases, fear can transform itself into destructive cynicism and division.

Last week, we saw a textbook example of how collective fear can be manipulated for political purposes.  Donald Trump has dominated the airwaves the past couple of months as news reporters all over the country have seemed to salivate over every opportunity to hear him challenge President Obama’s citizenship.  Even as this charge had been proven to have far less credibility than the aliens supposed hidden in a vault in New Mexico.  As we all know, the President, finally tired of the distraction, had his lawyers arrange to produce a second official birth notification to again substantiate that he was born in this country, demonstrating that there was nothing but hot air to “The Donald’s” charges.

But that has not stopped Trump.  He now is challenging the President’s academic credentials. But what is Trump really trying to say when he charges that he has “read” that President Obama was an underachieving student?  Is he questioning his intelligence?  If so it’s a challenging charge against a former Harvard Law Review editor whose political enemies have even labeled him an “effete professor.”  Is he suggesting that there was some unethical play involved?  I don't think so.

He is trying very hard, as he has been all along, to remind us (as if we needed reminding) that President Obama is black.  Sadly, this kind of race baiting is not unusual in American politics.  It was just a couple of years ago that Congressman Harold Ford of Tennessee lost his United States Senate race in after his opponent ran a commercial suggesting that Ford was interested in white women.  I could list dozens of other examples but, of course, they are all too familiar.

The real question in my mind is, why is this so newsworthy?  Trump is, to put it bluntly, a buffoon and a vulgarian.  His single appealing quality, to some, is that he is rich and arrogant.  There is no consistency in any of his political points of view.  He was for universal healthcare before he became against it.  He was for marriage equality before he flip-flopped  He called George W. Bush the “worst president in history” before he decided that President Obama deserved the title.  Hasn’t the man ever heard of videotape?  This is a man who attempts to appeal to social conservatives after a lifetime of philandering.  A person who, Carrie Prejean claimed, insisted that participants in the beauty pageants he was running parade before him so that he could separate those he found sexually appealing from those he didn’t. 

What does it say about American culture and American politics today that a person of this caliber is considered a serious candidate (by some) for the presidency of the United States?  What is the mindset that allows this to happen?

Back in 1999, I was hired by the Atlanta Braves to help them deal with the infamous John Rocker incident.  For those of you who don’t remember, Rocker was a Braves pitcher who, in an interview with Sports Illustrated reporter Jeff Pearlman, made insulting comments about a broad range of people, including people of color, immigrants, single mothers, and gays and lesbians.  After he came back from his suspension, he was met with a strange reaction.  Many people expressed their dissatisfaction with his comments by booing him. But a significant group of people in every ballpark turned him into a cause celebre.  He was greeted often with rousing cheers.

There is something in our cultural psyche that vicariously lives through people whose vulgarity allows our deepest, darkest thoughts to emerge.  And when those thoughts are about subjects that are politically incorrect to talk about out loud (sexist, racist, and homophobic thoughts), we seem even more interested in those very people.  After Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot in Arizona, people understandably called for an end to rifle targets on pictures of politicians.  Yet, why is the media feeding rather than ignoring the “rifle targets” in Trump’s charges?  I’m not suggesting censorship, I simply asking why a bloviating entertainer is given so much airtime?  Why is he being fawned over and desperately sought for interviews?  And what is the impact of this inordinate amount of attention on our national discourse?

I have little hope that NBC will make the same call that they did when Charlie Sheen became so offensive that they no longer wanted him representing them.  “The Apprentice” is too popular, I suppose, for standards of decency to derail it.

But it is time for people who stand for a more civil discourse in our society; who do not want to live in a society of coded racism and sexism, to let Trump and NBC know that, in no uncertain terms, we desire a higher level of discourse in our politics, and in our society.  It is a relatively simple act to begin.  Whenever you see him on TV, change the station.  When The Apprentice comes on, turn it off.  And let people know about it.  This is a man who feeds on attention.  Like a vampire, it is his lifeblood.  Starve him.

Just keep a simple thought in the mind.  Whenever he comes on your screen, change the channel and simple say, “You’re fired!”

The Revolution Within: What the Tea Party, Egypt, Wisconsin, Facebook & WikiLeaks Can Teach us About Communities of the Future

by Howard J. Ross, Founder & Chief Learning Officer

We are experiencing a fundamental revolution in how people see their world and how that impacts the nature of organizations, communities, government and leadership.  We are just beginning to see what that revolution may mean, and both the possibilities and the dangers it presents.

Tea Party Movement, rising in a flash to dramatically impact the mid-term elections and the way we are being governed. WikiLeaks splashing thousands of secret documents around the world. “Instant rebellions” springing up in Egypt, Tunisia, Libya and throughout the Middle East. Facebook hitting its 500 millionth member (approximately 1/13th of the people on the planet are now members!). Tens of thousands of citizens mass in protest of budget cuts in Wisconsin.

Each of these is a distinct event. Yet, in many ways these events are not unlike other protests, uprisings, or even leaks of the past.  I am definitely not comparing the protests in Wisconsin to Libya or anything of the sort.  But I have long been a believer in systems thinking and I don’t believe much in coincidences. (Coincidences do happen. But far more often things are connected in ways that we don’t see).  So, if we look at all of this collectively, could it be telling us something about the world that we are living in? More significantly, can these events tell us about the world that we can anticipate?

There are a number of significant trends that are coalescing in the appearance of all of these activities:

•    Collective Stress – created by both the prolonged economic crisis and tension in the world about security. We are feeling this stress in a different way than we have experienced it before.  It seems like entire countries (including the U.S.) are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

•    Technology – now allows us to transmit information faster, broader, and deeper than ever before.  Across our current technology tens of millions of people can be mobilized within days, hours or even minutes.  I remember when we were organizing rallies when I was a young social justice activist back in the 60’s, staying up all night printing flyers on an old mimeograph machines and then scouring the community putting them under windshield wipers of cars, in mail boxes or stapled to telephone poles.  It took dozens of people hours or days to reach 20-25,000 people.  Now in one push of the button, a viral message can be transmitted to the world (“Rally at Tahrir Square at noon!!”) over the Internet, through Facebook, by Twitter or by whatever new communication technology will be invented and be in use by the time this blog is two days old!

•    Information – which supported by technology, is disseminated faster and broader, and deeper and, as in the case of WikiLeaks, respecting very few boundaries of privacy or secrecy.

•    Globalism – An increasingly greater sense of ourselves as interconnected world citizens, impacted by what’s going on in other places that used to feel much farther away.  The whole world is watching.  In some cases we welcome that connection, in some cases we try to resist it (as when we attempt to “wall off” our country to immigrants), but either way it looms large in our consciousness.

•    Media and Communication – which now constantly blares at us, and, even more significantly pre-sorts the news we see.  (Watch the same story covered on MSNBC and FOX and see if you can even recognize them).

•    Generational Shifts – that have produced younger people, who are inherently more diverse, more informed, more connected, more independent in their thinking, and more prone to think of themselves as global citizens.

At the nexus of all of these trends we find a world in which people are increasingly less likely to defer to the power of authority figures to tell them what to do. Today people are more likely to instantly react and respond, more likely to find like-minded souls to respond with, and less likely to be “patient” about waiting for change.

What does this say about the organizations and communities of the future?  I recently heard it said that things that are top-down driven are slow and dull. Things that are bottom-up driven are fast and exciting.  But, of course, exciting can have both a positive and negative side to it.  The same energy that can inspire us when it coalesces to create positive change can also create anarchy.  Imagine, if we were to shift –- as some have suggested and as is now technologically possible –- to a system in which citizens directly vote on legislation, rather than go through elected officials.  An exciting prospect if one believes in “government by the people.”  Yet, how informed might they be?  How susceptible to the kind of demagoguery we have consistently been seeing?  How likely for a majority to dominate a minority?

For those of us in leadership positions, it calls for a significant reinvention of how we go about leading.  It requires constantly giving up control and encouraging autonomy.  It requires recognizing that the people we are leading may know more, more often, about more things than we ever have experienced.  It means that the “command and control” structures of leadership we have been mostly raised to admire must be replaced with more inclusive forms of stewardship, in which the role of the leader is one of facilitation even more than directing.  After all, what happens when leaders shove their decisions down the throats of those who are being led?  Do we think in this day and age the dissension will just go away?  Or will the spark be fanned on a computer discussion group somewhere and pop up on another day, in another way?

We have an opportunity to learn to create a greater sense of Organizational Community within our businesses, schools, community structures, and governmental institutions.  A true appreciation of the interconnectedness of the various stakeholder groups that we interact with, and a greater sense of inclusiveness so that all people can contribute to the greater good.  More and more people, including some of the clients we’re working with, are proving that these kinds of organizations can thrive, even while others are struggling.

The world will not be “quieting down.”  In fact, it is likely to continue to become more chaotic.  Those of us who lead organizations and governments will have a hard time letting go of our habitual ways of leading and interacting.  Some of us may fall to the wayside.  Some of our organizations and governments may do the same.

But those who survive will have to decide how we manage that chaos.  Do we fight against it and create upheaval and more conflict, or do we take more of an Aikido approach, creating “chaordic” structures that provide just enough order around the chaos to keep us focused on the needs of the future.  How well will we be able to internalize the revolution that is happening outside of us?

It is not too grandiose to say that the fate of humanity may rest in the answer to that question.